Too early...

I screwed up big time. I wasted my parents' money. I failed two courses, because there was a chemical imbalance in my head. Maybe a lack of dopamine: the feel good neurotransmitters. Now I'm in Bangkok recuperating my brain. Yeah, something's wrong with my brain. There's always something wrong with me. It's either dandruff, rashes, fungus, bad gassy stomach or my brain. I'm on this medication called Ablify. The side effects are akathisia. That means an inner feeling of restlessness. After reading about it on Wiki, I found out I got the better of the symptoms. Yeah I was restless, but I could manage it. The doctor gave me another bunch of tablets called ACA (whatever the hell it stands for) to counter it and I also had shaky hands. Kinda like Parkinsons disease. People with parkinsons have a blockage of the dopamine receptors. I think I might have that too, because of the side effects of Abilify. The medicine is working, though. But there are times when I think I'm going crazy. Overall my symptoms are reducing such as twitching and random thoughts and urges of violence. My mother apologized to me for not trusting conventional medicine. We thought we could cure me with vitamins, supplements and exercise, but that only fixed my motivation, the symptoms were still there.

Now I'm studying Thai, by myself. It's something to do, something to look forward to. I don't know if I like it....dammit my legs are sore from walking. It's the dopamine problem. I don't enjoy video games and movies like I used too, but it gets better..little by little.